A solar eclipse is a marvel that predates civilizations, script, society and Super Bowl trophies. It has, time and again, cast human experience into shadows both literal and metaphorical, marking its cyclical passage across the sky with a language of wonder and awe.

Today, in fact, the celestial ballet of our most celebrated luminaries, the Sun and Moon, shall pirouette into a cosmic show-stopper, like Bradshaw and Swan once did on the turf at Three Rivers Stadium, or Big Ben to 10, as it darkens the mid-afternoon sky, uniting millions in an unspoken celebration of an event that has captivated humanity for eons, much like the Super Bowl. (Note: we left out AB because as he is the center of his own Universe and therefore the eclipse metaphor doesn't work for his ego). 

In Pittsburgh, the ire of a solar eclipse has the city's population abuzz with anticipation, stores selling out of the elusive eclipse glasses—layers upon layers of aviator shades for heavenly bodies—and many kids are getting a half day or taking the day off. This coming celestial event has the air electric with a palpable sense of excitement, a fervency for something seemingly primal, so far untouched by the fumes of modernity. Everyone seems to be jumping into the eclipse. 

Primanit's is giving away free beer (Well, only one per customer - but don't tell that too Noodles). Of course, the sandwich-nauts at Primanti's are excited about the annual crowning of the March Madness king that will be going on tonight while the Sun, Moon, Earth and the NCAA tournament complete their orbits this evening. But, we digress. 

The peculiarity of this phenomenon is not merely the eclipse itself but the acknowledgement of our planet's astronomical position within the cosmos. For a few fleeting moments, our sunlit plains and precipices will be shrouded in an ethereal gloom, a gloaming interrupted by nature's hand and revered through the ages. 

The Dawn of Yinzer Wonder

At the heart of the eclipse's allure lies its temporal rarity and more significantly, its simplicity. Unlike the burgeoning realms of AI-generated wonders and virtual realities, a solar eclipse hinges not on the complexity of technology but on the innate physics of celestial mechanics. The world plunges into fascination, not because a programmer willed it so, but because the dance of the cosmos is compelling in its own right, governed by laws as precise as they are poetic. Perhaps, one day we could see a new quarterback join the Steelers as the Sun, Moon, and Earth fade away, accompanied by the sound of "Renegade" echoing from Acrisure Stadium.

Herein lies the crux of my stance on the solar eclipse: it is the purest awe-inspiring artifact of our universe, unmarred by the machinations of human invention or poor draft picks. It endures as a shared wonder, a bridge between cultures and time periods, a reminder inscribed across the timeline of human experience that we are, indeed, citizens, not just of Yinzerville, but of something grander called the Universe.

The concept is delightfully simple and unassuming, yet its impact is profound as this eclipse comes to Pittsburgh. It remains a testament to the unspoken bond between Yinzer and nature, as well as to the optimistic belief that interest in the natural world will never wane - no matter how many technological gadgets we make to distract ourselves from it or how many more Lombardis go into the trophy case. 

A Carousel Spun from Time Immemorial 

So let's celebrate this eclipse Yinzers and if it is cloudy, who really cares? We'll be together and that is what really counts. Plus, it's always cloudy here anyway. We're pretty familiar with the Universe's dark side, but let's hope those clouds part just enough for a peek at the enchanting black and gold created by the corona of the sun and the shadow of the Moon, rather than by the trim of officially licensed Pittsburgh sports apparel. 

This coming eclipse is but one of many spectacles the Universe unfurls for our terrestrial delight, but it remains a beacon, calling out to the best parts of our collective spirit. It rekindles the same childlike wonder and curiosity that stoked the imagination of Ralph Waldo Emerson and compels me to agree—if the stars were to come out every thousand years, we would indeed go crazy, but the Yinzers would go crazy too if the pirates actually won something every occasional astronomical age or so. 

In the vibrant tapestry of modern life, wherein technology and digital iterations dominate, the eclipse stands as a quiet champion, a symbol of our primal connection to the cosmos. It speaks of epochs where observation was innovation and contemplation was creation and it is cool to see so many Yinzers talking about the eclipse that comes today. 

Yet, as the eclipse of 2023 fades back into mere memory, we bear witness to the enduring wonder of the human race and how we live watch Sun and Moon pass over Yinzerville. For it is not in lapsing into the shadows of the eclipse that we recognize our 412 humanity, but in the verve with which we emerge into the enlightened and collective residual awe that defines the depth of our humanity.

In the pages that will be written, in the endless astronomical anecdotes and the ceaseless gaze of precious eyes, there remains hope for a region that groans under the weight of progress and this region that will forever still want another Lombardi over planetary health, but for one day, that Solar eclipse will be a magnificent spectator that has volunteered to entertain us and is not here as a a hostage. After all, we don't like hostages in Yinzerville. Never have. Never will. Now then, where are my sunglasses. 

Handy Tips on Watching The Solar Eclipse In Pittsburgh

• Hey Ray - Become an eclipse expert"
• Is there anything to do if it is cloudy during the total solar eclipse?
• Don't forget to look for weird-looking shadows during the solar eclipse
• Why are glasses needed for the solar eclipse? 
• Now is the time to brush up on how to make solar eclipse pinhole viewers

About Scratch

Scratch is the news, art, and entertainment editor at Across Pittsburgh and is a Yinzer tried and true. Feel free to spam him at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.